SURVIVING THE SEASON-IN-BETWEEN (3)

 Dear friend, 

How are you today? I am writing to you again as promised. Sequel to my last letter where i shared some characteristics of the season in between, I am glad to bring you more today. Please refer to my previous letter (surviving the season in between 2) if you missed out on anything. 

Kindly read through patiently.

Remember that this is a season in our lives that we must all come to realize. I call it the season in between. That is the season between your dreams and your present reality. There is a level of purpose you want to achieve but your current condition seems to be far away from what you aspire to become.

My friend, people look forward to a journey for two reasons. First is because of the joy of anticipation that the destination brings. There is a particular joy of anticipation that every destination brings. If you are traveling somewhere for the first time, simply by anticipating, it brings joy to your heart. Second reason is that there is the happiness that the departure from something brings. In other words, I look forward to a journey because I am excited about where I am going to or I am at least grateful for where I am leaving. Even if I don’t make it to point B, I am excited and glad I have left point A. 

But however excited and expectant you may be, when the journey takes unnecessarily too long you suddenly  begin to lose the excitement for the trip. Imagine if you were to travel to Glasgow, UK and you were all so fired up for it until your flight got cancelled three different times. Weather issues came up, internal airport checks issues, and finally the fourth time you got a go ahead to board until a late announcement came saying “we are sorry, there is a problem”.  What would be going through your mind sincerely? You will probably say “I just want to go back home, I am not embarking on this trip any longer” not because the destination isn’t exciting any longer but because the excitement had been taken away by unnecessary delays, setbacks and experiences.  That is just the season in between!

In life, the journey between your present state and the next level is often not a pleasant one. The journey may be rough, tasking, and full of sweats and pains but the funny part is this; that is the only road that leads to your destination. If you are going to move to significance, that is the only road. So what we should be talking about is how to survive on that road! I am here to help you understand the characteristics of the season in between before you know how to navigate that road quite well.

 

Another characteristic of the season in between is called disdain. This is when you reach the peak of your waiting game. You feel so discouraged, disappointed and dejected. At this level you come to a conclusion that certain things may not just happen again. You conclude that the reason why you are not getting closer to your dreams is because perhaps you are not meant to. It is the point of hopelessness; you already have an answer for your predicament; we call it destiny – we were not destined to make it. Haven’t you come across people, who have destiny to blame for their misfortunes, they have the government, GOD, u and I to blame for their failures. Disdain means you don’t care what you can give it will never be enough. Such people, the words “I can’t” is their signature language, they say it at will. The language impossible is their emblem they believe that after trying all these years it is simply worthless to try any longer. They build a mental barrier and their impossibilities become a mentality. They do not only disdain their abilities or potentials to change their fortunes, they equally disdain God; they say “I am now sure God is unable to help me”. They close the account of life with a big conclusion and a full stop.

My dear friend, if this honestly characterizes what you are going through right now, may you find courage to begin again. Believe me, it is a season and it was not meant to last a life time. You will not die in that season it is just a phase in your life. It is not a parking space, it is a passing phase. You will move through and become the person you were meant to become. Only if you know that you are near breakthrough than breakdown!

Don't miss #DREAMZTIME with Paul Amusa on the following radio stations:
LAGOS: UnilagFM 103.1;Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6:20am
IBADAN: Diamond FM 101.1; Mon-Fri, 7:50am
ILORIN: Betterbyfar FM 89.3; Tuesdays, Thur-Sun, 6:50am
 



Yours Sincerely
Paul Amusa

SURVIVING THE SEASON-IN-BETWEEN (2)

Dear friend,

How are you today? I understand you may be going through difficult moments. Well, I have a few things to share with you.

You see, the seasons of life are not constant, they change. As your journey to the next level of life begins, the most despondent state to be is the 'season-in-between'. That season is characterized by uncertainties, it is characterized by non-clarity. So you're worried, what exactly is going on?

I understand you have put in all your efforts but it seems as if there are no results, you may just be going through your in between season. There is nothing as worrying as a situation that seems undefined. You're in the middle of nowhere, you have stepped out of where you used to be but there is still no grasp of reality of where you are going to - It is a dangerous place to be. No substance whatsoever of what your dreams will turn out to be yet you have stepped out of your comfort zone.

My friend, I can imagine what it means to sell what you have to start a business, done all you know to do, yet you haven't gotten your first job. Hey, you may just be in the season-in-between. You have taken a great leap of faith but it looks as though it was even better on the other side than being here.

My dear friend, I want to share with you what characterizes the season-in-between. I want you to look out for these things so that when you experience them you need to ask yourself, maybe I am in my season in between.

What Characterizes the season-in-between?

1. Doubt - In the chain of failure, doubt is the first contact person. If failure were to be a company, the receptionist is doubt. Doubt introduces himself to you and believe me, it is going to be very cold in that company. You will have a hundred and one reasons to question the authenticity of your dreams when you're in the season-in-between. The veracity of the hopes you had will be questioned. You'll begin to question your capabilities. You'll find yourself asking,"how possible is it to get the result? Do I have what it takes? Maybe I am just unlucky, maybe if I had richer parents." The doubt question continues, you will doubt your capacity, your competence and your capabilities. Your in between season comes with serious doubts not just in your potential but in the ability of God to help you. You begin to ask "can God really help me?"

My friend, you may be in that season where you ask yourself disturbing questions about the future. The future you were once excited about seems to be losing concreteness.

My charge for you is that it is a season and it will not last forever. Learn to shake yourself off and be the person you want to be.

2. Disbelief - The next stop after the doubt bus stop is disbelief. It sets in when you stay longer waiting for something to happen. You stop asking questions, you start making assertions. You form theories and inclinations that suggest answers to your predicaments. You want a soothing relief so you come up with cliches that massage your in-capabilities and incapacity. Statements like,"i am not sure I am good at this job, I am not called to do this, I'm not the business type, IT is not my thing." You begin to rub yourself with the balm of relief saying well it is not a crime we are not succeeding since we are not cut out for it. That may just be disbelief, so watch it! Not only do you justify your failures with explanations, you also make assertions for God. Disbelief says "I am not sure God can help me."

Dear friend, does this resonate with what your life is in right now? Then you are in good company because that is why I am here. I promise to keep writing to you. Please do not ignore my letters, they promise to be elevating and insightful. It is just the season in between and you will find courage to stay strong. It will pass. Trust me, God can help you. You've got to be strong, be ready to deal with the season in between.

I hope this has helped you.

Don't miss #DREAMZTIME with Paul Amusa on the following radio stations:

LAGOS: UnilagFM 103.1;Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6:20am

IBADAN: Diamond FM 101.1; Mon-Fri, 7:50am

ILORIN: Betterbyfar FM 89.3; Tuesdays, Thur-Sun, 6:50am

 

Yours Sincerely

Paul Amusa

SURVIVING THE SEASON IN BETWEEN

Life is going to be full of seasons. Seasons are both divine and natural. The preacher in the Bible talks about different kind of season and time. There is the summer just as we have the winter.  We have got the season to plant and also the season to harvest. There is a time to be born and a time to die. In short, our lives are typified by phases and seasons. Do you remember that there was a time you would sleep ff on a couch in the sitting room and find yourself on your bed the next day because daddy carried you in? That was a season of your life but right now you are probably carrying someone in too whenever he / she fall asleep. Remember when you would cry because you hate seeing mom drop you off in junior school but now you are writing your MBA finals.

The seasons of life change so our roles and responsibilities change as well. Therefore, we will be faced with different seasons in our journey to fulfilling our destiny. There is a particular season that is of interest to me and I have called it the “in between season.” There is a place where you are now, and there is a place where you aspire to be. There is your present state and your future. Now between that present and the future there is a space of time called the In between season. It is the vestibule of life where exit from present reality connect entry into the future hopes and dreams. It is the space of time between what you have chosen to disconnect from and what you have chosen to connect to. It is the period separating your dreams from your fears. It is the season that puts our values and the character of men to test.

Be aware that before the manifestation of your future, there is going to be a waiting time; it is called the season in between. Between being a better wife, hubby, politician and what you are right now, there is a season in between.

An anonymous quote says a good way to judge a man’s character is his disposition when he has everything and importantly is his attitude when he has nothing. Waiting can be painful but it is equally gainful. Successful talk show host and comedian, Teju babyface was asked to advise upcoming talents on what to do for them to succeed in their chosen career. Like most people would do, he rolled out a number of things about being passionate, disciplined and a lot more. But he ended by saying “after you have done all you have got to do, then you have to wait” he said “there is what is called the waiting time and this is not what many people will tell you.” There is a time of your life when you realize you have done everything, you have given the best shots but it seems not to work out, it may just be your own season in between. You have got to understand seasons and be prepared for it. Face your fears! Your season will come but you will be ready and prepared.

Don't miss #DREAMZTIME with Paul Amusa on the following radio stations:

LAGOS: UnilagFM 103.1;Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6:20am

IBADAN: Diamond FM 101.1; Mon-Fri, 7:50am

ILORIN: Betterbyfar FM 89.3; Tuesdays, Thur-Sun, 6:50am

KEEP HOPE ALIVE (3)

There will be challenges and situations that will demand that you give in or give up, but you must be ready to go overboard and switch hope gears at every point in time.

There are no hopeless situations, we only have hopeless people. Hope is not a situation; it is a state of mind. It is very possible to keep hope alive in the worst situations of life. What produces hope is not external, it is an internal mechanism. 

Hope is a well stream that is within, you have the capacity to generate hope no matter how precarious or how terrible your situation may be. I understand that your financial issues are worrisome, that you are in such a predicament but I believe that you also have free flow of hope resident within you, that you can dig into that recesses and you can bring something out no matter the challenging situation that you have. It flows from within and it touches without. That is the kind of wellspring of hope that you have. How come people still feel depressed about their present circumstances yet have a hope reservoir? People are just anxious! An African proverb says “delayed expectations turn the heart adrift” meaning; when expectation is overstretched, a man’s mind becomes anxious. Remember anxiety is not thinking about the future, it is trying to control the future; it is the analysis of the future, the breeding-ground of fear. That is why anxious people will eventually develop into fearful people. Too much analysis of what tomorrow will turn out to be is what eventually leads to paralysis.

There are two major reasons why people commit suicide, the first one is they believe their past is so bad and it can never be overlooked. The second is that they think their future is so bleak and it cannot be overturned.

- When a man is on a suicide mission, he agrees that the future is far beyond and his past has a way of influencing that future.

- When a man is on a suicide mission, he assumes everything about tomorrow is mechanical and scientific and he attempts to provide answers to all the questions he has.

An anonymous quote says “do not complain about what you can change, go ahead and change it. But what you cannot change, change the way you think about it”

 

When hope reaches zero level in you, it is impossible to get a turnaround – your situations conform to the state of your mind. 

Hope is an unwavering belief that the odds may count, but I am positive it is going to be fine. 

Hope is an inward fire that keeps burning even when there is no oil to fuel it any further.

Dear friends, let hope rise in your spirit. May you be fired up for a fresh start! Encourage yourself to start anew and revive the hope that is within you. Don’t forget, hope is an internal mechanism; there is a wellspring of hope within you. Things in time will change for the better.

Don't miss #DREAMZTIME with Paul Amusa on the following radio stations:

LAGOS: UnilagFM 103.1;Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6:20am

IBADAN: Diamond FM 101.1; Mon-Fri, 7:50am

ILORIN: Betterbyfar FM 89.3; Tuesdays, Thur-Sun, 6:50am

Lives are being changed already, when will you join them?

KEEP HOPE ALIVE (2)

Stop trying to control what you cannot control, focus on the things you can control. The reason for loss of hope and unhappiness is because you have forgotten that there are limitations to what you can influence. We all have what is called the sphere of influence. Outside that sphere of influence, you are nobody. So you have to understand that your capacity, your competence and your capabilities are limited. It is within that influence that you can create change and difference. Your plans are absolute within that influence but outside the influence every attempt may lead to frustration. The sphere of your influence is the circumference of your control, you possess great magnitude of power within this region, but outside that sphere you become ordinary. You may have to rely on the outcome of things that are uncontrollable. But this is where the problem is, when we have to rely on the uncontrollable factors, ANXIETY begins to step in – when people ignore the things they have power over and worry about that which cannot be controlled, anxiety is already knocking on the door. As a matter of fact, anxiety is not thinking about the future, it is trying to control the future!

Dear daughter, thinking about marriage is good but trying to calculate the how, when and where, that is where the problem is.

Dear son, building a great business empire is fantastic and I admire your passion and your guts. But the worry is this, when you begin to consume yourself about the how, the when, the where - there may be a red flag.

Dear coach, you can drill and prepare your team for the world championship and it seems you have done everything well, you may not be able to control the outcome at some point. You will agree with me that at some point you seem to have done everything well but you were just “unlucky”.  People have termed it luck but I call it the uncontrollable factor that determines success. Have you ever seen a team that had over 70% possession, but did not record a single goal? This happens a lot in football matches! The reason is simple; there could just be that particular uncontrollable factor that determines success.

The term ceteris paribus; all things being equal means that we can expect ‘so and so’ result based on if ‘this and that’ happens – after doing all that is to be done by me, I hope, I wish,  and pray all other factors beyond my control works along in my favor. That is why scientific theories disclose that their conclusions are based on controlled experiments and as such, if the uncontrolled factors interfere negatively, the theories may not apply any longer.

Dear reader, it is clear that we can control certain things, and we cannot control some. One key reason for hopelessness is anxiety. Anxiety is the dangerous consummation for the future; when you cannot wait for something to happen.

Anxiety develops when we become impatient for the future. The reason why we conclude that the future is not coming any longer is because of anxiety.

Dear friends, deal with anxiety, it is responsible for loss of hope


Don't miss #DREAMZTIME with Paul Amusa on the following radio stations:
LAGOS: UnilagFM 103.1;Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6:20am
IBADAN: Diamond FM 101.1; Mon-Fri, 7:50am
ILORIN: Betterbyfar FM 89.3; Tuesdays, Thur-Sun, 6:50am

Lives are being changed already, when will you join them?